5 Ways to Overcome the Yelling Mom
I originally published this post on TheBetterMom.com in 2012.
“I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me.” Galatians 2:20
Sometimes it’s hard for moms. We have the flesh in which we’re daily dying. Once we become mothers, we’re not suddenly delivered from every aspect of our issues. I have found that motherhood has been used greatly by the Lord to surface my junk. Any flaw or area that I have needed refinement is magnified. Motherhood is the most beautiful gift, and at the same time can be a painful catalyst into seeing ourselves.
Sometimes, I’m ugly.
And indeed, none of us want to be her. You know, the yelling mom. The desire of our heart is to be gentle, peaceful, patient, loving. Uninvited she shows up at my house. I don’t know how I let her in. Along the way, my soft answers increased in volume. My first clue is I begin to hear changes in how my children are speaking to one another. If they are snapping and yelling, I know that it all started with me.
5 Ways to Overcome the Yelling Mom
Sleep and Time with the Lord: If your words have changed from gentle to harsh – assessing your current sleeping patterns is a good place to start. Right along with sleep is time with the Lord. If all you can do is 15-minutes a day during this season, make the most of that time. I have these Free Bible Verse Cards for Moms Who Need the Victory that several moms have reported great for their limited devotional times.
Update 2017 🙂 Since I first wrote this article over five years ago, I’ve also developed the habit of writing a Bible verse on my hand most days. You can read more here in, “How Writing Bible Verses on My Hand Gives Me Strength, Hope, and Encouragement Each Day.”
Water: If I’m getting snappy, short, or find myself yelling, it may be because I’ve had my morning cup of coffee (or 2), but where’s my water? Since I noticed my tendency only to drink coffee in the morning, I’ve started to make myself finish a bottle of water before I fill my coffee cup. Yes, it keeps the bathroom trips hopping in the morning, but it’s well worth it. I also keep cold water bottles ready to go in the fridge. Helping myself think ahead of water makes a big difference in my world.
I’ve also learned over the years to not only watch my water intake but to also make sure I have easy protein snacks available. We have to feed the momma 🙂
You can read my journey here how I had a season where I even threw away my coffee pot!
I’m such a better mom with water in my veins.
Schedule Yourself Online: I love the gift and use of the online world in the days that we live in. But, I know myself. I get cranky, snappy, and just plain weird if I’ve been online too long. We have our homeschool life schedule, but as an online work at home mom I also schedule myself. My goal is to be done with my online work, have posts, deals, tweets, and facebook scheduled, and be offline by 8:30 a.m. My Free Homeschool Deals site runs as if I’m sitting on my computer all day; truth be told it’s creative scheduling. I stick to this schedule during the day by having my online check-in times on our daily scheduling board for my children to see. And yes, they hold me accountable. They see that mom will be on the computer ‘checking business’ from 11:45-12:15 and again from 4:30-4:45.
If you have a business and blogging that you have to check on during the day maybe, you can schedule little time chunks out. If you’re tempted to check stats after breakfast, or quickly look at your inbox, instead of those becoming a pressured feeling – you can rest that you have that window of time scheduled.
Update 2017 🙂 The above is no longer how I get my online work completed. It may give you some good ideas if you have a growing business and don’t currently have a team in place to assist your efforts. I need to publish my new 2017 work at home mom schedule. In the meantime, you can read here in a post from 2015 how my real life work at home mom schedule has changed over the years. Don’t forget to read about my work at home mom scheduling secret weapon.
“Our nature walk treasures today include a basketful of pinecones and vases full of various wildflowers.”
Snuggle, Read, Get Outside & Play: When in doubt, snuggle and read. Have you had a rough start to the day? Snuggle and read. Are you feeling pressured over adult concerns and overlooking the sweet joys in front of you? Get outside and play. Simple thrills, such as pushing a child on a tire swing, or picking wildflowers, can put life back into perspective.
Lead with Love: The Lord is constantly reminding me to lead with love.
I’ll find myself speaking this throughout the day…lead with love, Jamerrill. Lead these little ones with love….lead with love.
We all have our rough seasons, stretching seasons, trails and errors. If you find yourself not using your nice words ask for forgiveness. Confess to your children that Jesus isn’t done with you yet, and admit that you’re learning too. Little by little, bit by bit, us mothers are growing right along with our children.